March 6, 2012

  • It just gets better

    Apparently I made our new Music Director cry last night.

    I'm not sorry.  We had a music rehearsal last night and several times, the tempos were funeral dirges.  RIDICULOUSLY slow.  And if we tried to push the tempo, nothing happened.  One or two of the songs are correct, but most are so slow that you have to take a breath after almost every note.

    Towards the end of the rehearsal, our Music Director tried to blame US for this problem.  US!?!?  She praised her piano player and how good she was - well, this piano player is a little better than me, but doesn't seem to have listened to the show at all because most of the tempos are so damn slow.  On top of that, a lot of times or Music Director doesn't even bother to count us in.  She'll sort of give the piano player a very quiet count and then expect us to jump right in.  How about a "5, 6, 7, 8" lady?  Or at least give us the pick-ups before we come in??  Geez.  So after praising the piano player, she then had the nerve to say, "You people are the ones dragging down the tempo.  We have to keep up with you and you keep slowing down - and there's only so many times we can add music before you people come in."

    WHAT!>?!>!?!?!?!?

    I was incredulous.  The times when we weren't coming in were because we didn't have a clue what the FUCK the piano player was playing because it sure as shit didn't sound like the soundtrack so we DIDN'T know when to come in because of her lousy playing!!  But then to blame US for the tempos???  Other people in the cast were trying to say things.  I was biting my tongue.  In fact, I'd been biting my tongue all week.  And people around me were sort of expressing the right thing, but either not stating it well, or trying to be polite and finally I spoke up from the back of the room and said,

    "Excuse me.  But does the orchestra start each song?  Or do the vocalists??  Because with the exceptions of a few songs where the singer is given one chord and they start the song, the ORCHESTRA starts the song and therefore gives up the tempo and when you give us a funeral march tempo, please don't blame us.  I'll give you an example: 'Your...       *breath*    ...dress... *breath*   ...dress... *breath*   ...your fan...   cy.... dress'  You've been playing the tempo on that so slow that we sound like Stevie from Malcolm In The Middle because we're having to take a breath after after syllable and note it's so damn slow!  Stop talking to us like we're three years old!  You set the tempo for each song and most of them are nowhere near the correct tempos if you'd listen to the soundtrack.  We've TRIED to push the tempo to no avail, so PLEASE don't try and blame this cast.  This is a very capable cast and you're trying to say that 20 people are wrong and the two of you are right.  I'm sorry, but I've been biting my tongue and it needed to be said because you weren't listening to anyone else." 

    We finally went back to the song we'd been doing and then our Music Director excused herself and made it sound like she had to go talk to someone while the piano player continued going over a part.

    Well, I learned that she'd gone out to the lobby to cry because one of the theatre board persons walked out with me once rehearsal was done and said, "What can I do to make rehearsals easier?"  I had to say, "Well, there's nothing that can be done at this point because it's a little too late.  We've had a director that wasn't even here the first three weeks, a lunatic first music director, me trying to teach people parts and then a new music director who talks to us like we're three years old.  I bit my tongue as long as I could and now I'm being made to look like the bad guy because I'm the one who finally spoke up.  I only said what everyone else was trying to say after we'd been insulted.  She has one of the most capable casts I've ever worked with and she doesn't even realize it.  I shouldn't be the bad guy for wanting the show to be good."

    And that's when I was told that she'd gone out to the lobby and cried.  I'm not sorry.  I wasn't any meaner or insulting than she'd been to us.  She keeps saying "I demand respect."  Demand it all you want, you have to earn it and if you keep talking to us like that, it ain't gonna happen.